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This is a list of random jokes I decided to send to everyone on my friends list:
1) A Plumber joke: Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end. 2) A Harvard joke: I was taking a tour of Harvard with one of the guides, and I asked him at the end of the tour, "But where's the library at?" He chuckled and said, "I can tell you're not a Harvard man." I said, “Huh?” and he replied condescendingly, “You see, here at Harvard, we never end a sentence with a preposition.” So I replied, “Oh, well in that case, where is the library at, JERK?” 3) A ‘WTF?!’ joke: A man wanted to figure out what kind of lifestyle his son was going to follow. So before his son got home, the man set out a beer, a wad of cash, a Playboy magazine, and a bible. The man thought: If he takes the beer, he’s going to become a drunk. If he takes the cash, he’s going to become a businessman. If he takes the Playboy magazine, he’s going to become a pimp. And if he takes the bible, he’s going to become a Priest. The man then hid in the closet when his son got home. He watched his son through a crack in the door. His son saw the items on the table and ran over to them. He took the wad of cash and stuffed it in his pocket. Then he took the bible and held it under his arm. Then he took the beer and popped the top off. Finally, he took the Playboy magazine and opened it as he headed to his room. His father whispered in horror, “Oh my god—He’s gonna become a POLITICIAN!!!” (If anyone doesn’t get that joke, I understand. It’s kinda complicated.) 4) A hospital joke: 4 men were in the waiting room of a hospital when a nurse came in. She went to the first man and said, “Congratulations, sir, you’re the father of twins.” The man said, “That’s odd—I work for the Minnesota Twins!” The nurse said to the second man, “Congratulations, sir, you’re the father of triplets.” The man said, “Strange—I work for the 3M Company!” The nurse said to the fourth man, “Congratulations, sir, you’re the father of quadruplets!” The man said, “What a coincidence—I work for a Four Points Sheraton hotel!” The fourth man was groaning in despair, and bumping his head against the wall. One of the other men said, “What’s the matter?” The fourth man whined, “I work for 7-UP!!” 5) A dumb blonde joke (If anyone who reads this is blonde, I am not implying any insult whatsoever to blonde people): Three women—a redheaded girl, a brunette, and a blonde— were arrested for attempted murder. They were sentenced to death by execution squad. They were marched out to the execution ground and forced up against the wall. As the executioners raised their guns, the redheaded girl shouted, “TORNADO!!” The executioners threw themselves to the ground, and the redheaded girl climbed over the wall and escaped. The executioners got up and prepared to fire. Then, the brunette shouted, “EARTHQUAKE!!” The executioners threw themselves to the ground again, and the brunette climbed over the wall and escaped. The executioners got up a second time and prepared to fire. Then, the blonde screamed, “FIRE!!” and the executioners granted her request. 6) Some jokes for lexophiles (Big word lovers): 6A) Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I’ll show you A-flat miner. 6B) I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me. 6C) Dead batteries were given out by the store free of charge. 6D) A grenade was thrown into a kitchen in France. It resulted in Linoleum Blownapart. (That was a bad one. Sorry.) 6E) Writing with a broken pencil is completely POINTless.
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I am a Burning Core of Sonic Obsession
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"If they bury my ass up, be sure to park my bike." --Robin Williams (as Patch in the movie "Patch Adams" )
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i like deku link, sonamy, taieam, kingdom hearts, and kirby. I also wuv my dA wife ~Sonic-The-Bitch
1) A Plumber joke: Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.
2) A Harvard joke: I was taking a tour of Harvard with one of the guides, and I asked him at the end of the tour, "But where's the library at?" He chuckled and said, "I can tell you're not a Harvard man." I said, “Huh?” and he replied condescendingly, “You see, here at Harvard, we never end a sentence with a preposition.” So I replied, “Oh, well in that case, where is the library at, JERK?”
3) A ‘WTF?!’ joke: A man wanted to figure out what kind of lifestyle his son was going to follow. So before his son got home, the man set out a beer, a wad of cash, a Playboy magazine, and a bible. The man thought: If he takes the beer, he’s going to become a drunk. If he takes the cash, he’s going to become a businessman. If he takes the Playboy magazine, he’s going to become a pimp. And if he takes the bible, he’s going to become a Priest. The man then hid in the closet when his son got home. He watched his son through a crack in the door. His son saw the items on the table and ran over to them. He took the wad of cash and stuffed it in his pocket. Then he took the bible and held it under his arm. Then he took the beer and popped the top off. Finally, he took the Playboy magazine and opened it as he headed to his room. His father whispered in horror, “Oh my god—He’s gonna become a POLITICIAN!!!” (If anyone doesn’t get that joke, I understand. It’s kinda complicated.)
4) A hospital joke: 4 men were in the waiting room of a hospital when a nurse came in. She went to the first man and said, “Congratulations, sir, you’re the father of twins.” The man said, “That’s odd—I work for the Minnesota Twins!” The nurse said to the second man, “Congratulations, sir, you’re the father of triplets.” The man said, “Strange—I work for the 3M Company!” The nurse said to the fourth man, “Congratulations, sir, you’re the father of quadruplets!” The man said, “What a coincidence—I work for a Four Points Sheraton hotel!” The fourth man was groaning in despair, and bumping his head against the wall. One of the other men said, “What’s the matter?” The fourth man whined, “I work for 7-UP!!”
5) A dumb blonde joke (If anyone who reads this is blonde, I am not implying any insult whatsoever to blonde people): Three women—a redheaded girl, a brunette, and a blonde— were arrested for attempted murder. They were sentenced to death by execution squad. They were marched out to the execution ground and forced up against the wall. As the executioners raised their guns, the redheaded girl shouted, “TORNADO!!” The executioners threw themselves to the ground, and the redheaded girl climbed over the wall and escaped. The executioners got up and prepared to fire. Then, the brunette shouted, “EARTHQUAKE!!” The executioners threw themselves to the ground again, and the brunette climbed over the wall and escaped. The executioners got up a second time and prepared to fire. Then, the blonde screamed, “FIRE!!” and the executioners granted her request.
6) Some jokes for lexophiles (Big word lovers):
6A) Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft, and I’ll show you A-flat miner.
6B) I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
6C) Dead batteries were given out by the store free of charge.
6D) A grenade was thrown into a kitchen in France. It resulted in Linoleum Blownapart. (That was a bad one. Sorry.)
6E) Writing with a broken pencil is completely POINTless.
--
I am a Burning Core of Sonic Obsession
-----
"If they bury my ass up, be sure to park my bike." --Robin Williams (as Patch in the movie "Patch Adams" )
--
i like deku link, sonamy, taieam, kingdom hearts, and kirby. I also wuv my dA wife ~Sonic-The-Bitch
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i like deku link, sonamy, taieam, kingdom hearts, and kirby. I also wuv my dA wife ~Sonic-The-Bitch
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i like deku link, sonamy, taieam, kingdom hearts, and kirby. I also wuv my dA wife ~Sonic-The-Bitch
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i like deku link, sonamy, taieam, kingdom hearts, and kirby. I also wuv my dA wife ~Sonic-The-Bitch
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i like deku link, sonamy, taieam, kingdom hearts, and kirby. I also wuv my dA wife ~Sonic-The-Bitch
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